OK, so it's been a while, I'll give you that. I mean, like, a while. Over a year. I guess I forgot I have a blog, or something. So, this one's about the past year of my life.
Since I last posted, my life's kind of gone on some type of roller coaster ride. Everything seemed a lot simpler last January, but also, it's not like I'd ever go back to who I was then, not like I'd ever go back and leave who I am now.
I've been through some shit. I had a boyfriend briefly, for one month or so. He told me he loved me two weeks in and I said it back despite every claim I've ever had. I vowed to myself that I would not say it unless I meant it, and maybe I thought I meant it then, but I realize now that I didn't. I never loved him. I'm not even sure I honestly thought that I did, but what's done is done, I suppose.
I broke up with him. I wasn't going to do it just yet, instead had texted my best friend about my intentions, about the possibility of the dumping. I thought I could trust her. I couldn't. She texted the boyfriend and told him I was going to break up with him, and just like that, we were over. It didn't happen how I wanted it to. It was a disaster. But, it's over now, I guess.
We got back together briefly in August, but I ended it a second time, however terrible that makes me sound.
The day before my birthday, the aforementioned Cameron came over to my house and we ended up in a situation that involved lips while my sister slept hungover rooms away. We did not date, nor have we dated, because I am unsure of my feelings for him.
The month of January was spent in a relationship with a boy with whom I shared classes with. He had amazing dimples and was very kind to me, online at least. He did not speak to me in person and he did not want to hang out together. He only wanted to text or snapchat, so my sister broke up with him for me. He seemed to take it pretty damn easily.
Sometime early this year, I mustered up the courage to come out of that stuffy closet I've been living in. And maybe you guys should know, too. I'm bisexual. I told my closest friends and they took it well, but my best friend and I have never been the same since, which I pity, because we were such good friends before.
I'm talking to a girl right now, and I'm kind of really happy with my life at the moment, because I know now that I don't have to change for anyone and I don't have to pretend to be happy just because someone else is. I've learned that I am perfectly me and anyone who thinks that that is some sort of fault is wrong and is not worth my time.
I feel great.
I feel light.
